I’m so glad the sitcom joke happened because I can just draw life from the sitcom au of the show. John is literally a jealous boyfriend and his catchphrase is “were you flirting with Sherlock Holmes?” and Sherlock is brilliant but legitimately incredibly clumsy and every episode ends with John…
I’ve never written a sherlock fanfic in my life but this au is just too good to pass up.
[the Sherlock opening music plays but this is sitcom!lock so it’s just a poppy, overly enhanced electric baseline]
[sitcom!Sherlock burst through the door, wearing only booty-shorts and suspenders]
[whistles from the audience]
Sherlock: Another day, another gay club saved from Moriarty’s evil clutches.
[Exasperated sitcom!John follows, wearing his old army uniform]
John: I understand your disguise, but why did I have to wear this?
Sherlock: As always you see but do not observe… just how good your ass looks in those trousers!
[audience whoops and hollers]
John: [wraps arms around Sherlock] Not as good as your ass looked on that stage. Where’d you learn those exotic dance moves?
Sherlock: You know my methods, John.
[audience members scream and faint as they go in for a kiss]
[Suddenly, Neighbor!Jim enters]
Jim: Hello neighbors. [looks at the camera] Did you miss me?
Sherlock: Ahhhh, Jim from next door. How’ve you been?
Jim: Oh, you know. Just [looks at the camera again] stayin’ alive.
Jim: [stares at Sherlock’s outfit] Oh my, Sherlock! You look hot enough to burn someone’s heart out.
Sherlock: [laughs] Ohhh, you!
John: [getting all jealous] Are you flirting with Sherlock Holmes?
Jim: [laughs] Of course not. [looks at the camera] I’m Moriarty
John: What was that?
Sherlock: What did you say?
Jim: Um…Could I borrow some more uh ya tea?
[Mrs. Hudson enters]
Mrs. Hudson: Sherlock Holmes! Have you been youtubing again?
[everyone laughs as we fade to the commercial break]